So lately I have been thinking about alot of things. Mainly about this blog and the effect it has on you followers and myself included. I want to start off by saying thank you to this special someone in my life that has made me understand what this blog will do for myself and for everyone who reads this. Growing up the way I did and I can only speak for myself on this topic.
Deep down inside I hurt alot. I want something that everyone outside the beaty life has in one form or another. I have been alone my whole life. I have never had that mother figure in my life that would ever just come and comfort me when needed. I feel like I look for that in my relationships with women. I am 32 and it seems like I have been disappointed by every women who have ever crossed my path. No I am not looking for a mother those days are gone and can never be replaced. My worst fears in life is being alone again. Some of this may make sense to you and it may not make sense at all but I know what I mean.
There is times where I feel like I am locked up in a closet with no where to turn to. No family no life and sitting back I really do not have that. Yes I know you say you have your brothers. I am missing something else. What it is I couldnt tell you, my heart says its my Mom. Really though if I never knew or had one to raise me how could it be that. I am confused in my life I know what I want and I feel like its to late for that type of life anymore. I am a lost man who never had a family or a mom to look over and give me what I need which is support.
I am going to publish this to see if this makes sense and maybe someone can tell me what they think.
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